Breaking free from Shame
Shame—it's like a heavy weight on your heart, making you feel small and unworthy. But what exactly is shame, why do we feel it, and how can we shake off its grip? Let's dive in and explore this tricky emotion, and learn how to be kinder to ourselves along the way.
Shame is that voice in your head telling you that you're not good enough. Unlike guilt, which stems from a sense of having done something wrong, shame goes much deeper—it attacks our very sense of self. t's like a bully that makes you feel like you don't belong or deserve love. We feel shame when we believe we've fallen short of what we're "supposed" to be or when we've made mistakes that we think define us.
But here's the thing—shame isn't the truth. It's just a feeling, and feelings aren’t forever. So how do we fight back against shame and start feeling better about ourselves?
Be Kind to Yourself: Treat yourself like you would treat a good friend. When shame shows up, remind yourself that you're only human, and everyone makes mistakes. Replace those mean thoughts with kind ones, and watch how it changes how you feel.
Question Shameful Thoughts: Take a closer look at the thoughts that make you feel ashamed. Are they really true, or are they just making you feel bad? Challenge those thoughts by finding evidence that proves them wrong.
Share Your Feelings: Don't keep shame all to yourself. Talk to someone you trust about how you're feeling. Sharing your struggles can help you realize that you're not alone and that other people care about you.
Know Your Limits: It's okay to say no to things that make you feel ashamed or uncomfortable. Set boundaries to protect yourself from shame triggers and surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself.
Get Support: If shame is weighing you down, reach out for help. A therapist can give you additional tools to deal with shame and help you build up your self-esteem.
Remember, you are not defined by your mistakes, shortcomings, or external achievements. You are inherently worthy of love, belonging, and self-compassion, just as you are. By shining a light on shame, embracing vulnerability, and practicing self-compassion, you can liberate yourself from its grip and step into a brighter, more authentic version of yourself.
