The Do’s and Don’ts of Supporting Someone with an Eating Disorder

When someone you care about is struggling with an eating disorder, it can be hard to know what to say—or what not to say. You want to help, but you may worry about saying the wrong thing. Here are some simple do’s and don’ts to guide you in supporting your loved one with compassion and care.

✅ Do’s

Do listen without judgment.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is simply listen. Give space for your loved one to share what they’re feeling without rushing to fix it.

Do offer support at mealtimes.
If they’re comfortable, offer to sit with them or eat together. Having a calm, supportive presence can make mealtimes less overwhelming.

Do encourage professional help.
Eating disorders are complex, and recovery often requires the support of trained professionals—therapists, dietitians, or doctors. Know the limits of your own support and when a professional is needed. You may even offer to assist with finding resources for ED treatment.

Do validate their feelings.
Instead of brushing things off with “you’re fine,” acknowledge how hard it must be for them. Validation helps your loved one feel seen and understood.

Do set boundaries for yourself.
Supporting someone can be emotionally heavy. It’s okay to care for yourself too, and to know when to step back or seek support of your own.

🚫 Don’ts

Don’t comment on their body.
Even compliments like “you look healthy” can be triggering. Avoid making any remarks—positive or negative—about weight, size, or shape.

Don’t talk about diets or food morality.
Conversations about “good” vs. “bad” foods or your own dieting can reinforce harmful messages. Try to keep food talk neutral.

Don’t pressure them to just eat (or stop eating).
Recovery isn’t about willpower. Comments like “just eat more” or “why can’t you stop?” can increase shame and resistance.

Don’t compare struggles.
Saying “I know how you feel, I’ve skipped meals before” minimizes their experience. Eating disorders are serious illnesses, not just a tough patch.

Don’t assume you have to fix it.
Your role is to support, not to solve. Trust that professionals can provide the tools for recovery and your compassion and presence are enough.