What It Actually Means to Regulate Your Nervous System
You’ve probably heard the phrase “regulate your nervous system” shared widely online, often as a quick fix for anxiety or stress (or to sell a product or package). It sounds soothing but this concept is often oversimplified. In reality, regulating your nervous system isn’t about being calm all the time. It’s about flexibility. A regulated nervous system can handle life’s challenges, then return to a sense of balance and safety afterward.
Our autonomic nervous system has two main parts:
Sympathetic nervous system – the body’s “gas pedal,” which helps us take action, respond to challenges, and stay alert.
Parasympathetic nervous system – the “brake,” which allows us to rest, digest, and recover.
Neither branch is “bad,” and both are necessary. We need the energy of the sympathetic system to handle daily stressors and the calm of the parasympathetic system to recover afterward. The goal isn’t to be relaxed all of the time, but to move between both states effectively. Problems arise when we get stuck in one mode, constantly activated and anxious, or shut down and disconnected.
Wellness culture sometimes oversimplifies this process, suggesting we should feel relaxed all the time. But in reality, a well-regulated nervous system doesn’t mean you’re always calm. It means your body can adapt and find balance again after stress.
If you’re working on supporting your nervous system, small, consistent practices can help. Try:
Breathing exercises to engage the parasympathetic system. Some of our favorites are box breathing, 4, 7, 8 breathing, or the “physiological sigh”
Mindfulness and grounding. Paying attention to your senses, noticing what is here now.
Movement or gentle exercise. Sometimes activating your body in safe ways helps shift internal states.
Rest, sleep, recovery practices. Adequate rest helps your parasympathetic system do its work.
Therapy and trauma-informed work. Learning to tolerate discomfort, explore past patterns, and integrate regulation skills in daily life.
These practices don’t eliminate stress, but they help your body feel safer navigating it. Remember, regulating your nervous system isn’t about staying calm. It’s about learning to move through life’s ups and downs with greater awareness, balance, and self-trust.
